So I broke up with my sweet girlfriend. You see, coward that I am, instead of breaking up with her straight up or telling her I’m not doing again, I pulled a Houdini. It’s simpler that way, disappear until they get the point – that this guy is not interested again. You avoid the water works, the calls, the emotional blackmail. Funny thing is, she was awesome. Sex was great, she was quite intelligent, my kinda girl, understanding, never asked for a dime, but the fact remains that I just did not see a future with her. She just wasn’t my spec. Reading this diary, it’s probably very easy to despise my kind of person and that’s very understandable.
But… I remember sometime late last year just before she went for service, when she threatened to pour battery acid on me if I ever broke her heart. Well, she didn’t really threaten me. She said it jokingly and I found myself laughing too, but not before I stored it safely in a cabinet somewhere in my head. Battery acid? Really? For months I battled with the thought ‘What if she wasn’t joking?’ in my mind. And then all those nights when we’d lay in bed and she’d say ‘I love you so much,’ with such an intensity in her eyes I knew I wasn’t ready for.
I guess the point where I knew I had to make a decision was when she told me on WhatsApp that she’d “made a lot of sacrifices for me. And that I shouldn’t disappoint her please.”
“What sacrifices?” I really wanted to know.
“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”
“Well I’ve also made a lot of sacrifices for you,” I retorted.
But there and then I decided it was better to let her go than to continue, before things got anymore serious between us. But here’s the catch: One day that she came around I was SURPRISINGLY able to whine her on a hunch and she unexpectedly confessed to dating some guy a few months after she started dating me but she broke up with him cos that was the first time she wanted to try double dating but she realised it wasn’t for her cos she didn’t love him but she loved me. When she told me I wasn’t surprised and I totally believed her. Of course, I also forgave her as well.
But I wasn’t into the relationship, so I couldn’t really blame her either. I knew she cared about me… loved me even, but I was looking for an escape route. The whole thing was bad timing.
The Great Wall of China prevails!
Till next time,
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