The Curious Life of a Wayward Pikin

How I Slowly Became A Simp

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Dear Diary,

This is a short story of that horrid moment in time when I dropped all my principles and began a regrettable journey towards becoming a simp. Enjoy!


Skim through if you dare! Let’s call it exhibit A. Behold, to my utter shame, my foolish musings! Mind you, the year was 2012 and yours truly was in 200 level.

I had entered school one evening to see her, and after spending some time together I decided it was time to go home as I stayed off campus.

We were not dating at the time, we were just friends though some sexual tension was steadily building between us.

She insisted we took a longer route leading to school gate and so I obliged her, our arms intertwined. We got to one lonely road and she insisted that we lie down in the middle of the road and stare up at the stars.

You know, the way they do in all those oyinbo movies. I rolled my eyes and teased her, it was something she always loved doing, watching the stars.

So there we were lying on the gravel in the middle of the deserted road when she laid her coconut head on my hard chest. I inhaled deeply and took in the night air as we looked up at God’s creations in silence, a sense of contentment about us. At that moment in time, we were truly very happy.


Feeling her body so close to me, her warmth on that chilly night, the smell of her hair, the smell of HER, my temperature rose and my heart started beating so fast because I instinctively knew what was going to happen next.

She must have noticed something was doing me because she kept asking what was wrong, the hint of a smile playing on her lips. She knew what was wrong… the sultry wench!

She was what was wrong with me.

After lying there for a while talking about sweet nothings it was time for me to go home. I stood up first and pulled her up into my yearning arms.

I held her close, breathing heavily, my arms wrapped around her waist, mischievous hands nestled at that delicate space between the small of her back and her big bum bum.

Lai-skin girl… Yellow pawpaw toh bahd. We die here!

We looked each other in the eyes, and slowly, sensually, I kissed her. My heart was beating so loudly I could hear it ringing in my ears.

We stood there sucking face while rushing each other, the ultimate entanglement! We were lost in a fairytale trance that seemed to go on forever, the memory of what was currently happening to be forever etched in both our hearts and minds.

We were both speechless as she walked me to the school gate to take a bike back to my place. Perhaps we were pondering the implications of what had just happened between us.

You see Diary, she had a serious boyfriend in faraway Lagos and yours truly was affiliated with numerous females as usual. It was a case of Yin meets Yang. Fire meets Ice. She was everything I never knew I needed.

The attraction was insane!

In fact, I dare say she came on to me and did everything possible to get my attention, even during those periods when she would annoy me and I’d go on to snub her.

The next day she broke up with her boyfriend and we officially started dating. And boy, what a relationship it was. In hindsight, I probably should have stopped at hello.

Till next time,


Wayward Pikin.

Most people say that the era when people used to love with their full chest outside is long gone.

You know… the Pre-Buhari era.

Maybe they’re right, maybe they’re not.


Over to you guys, do you remember that horrid moment in time when you dropped all your principles and began a regrettable journey towards becoming a simp? Share your experiences.

They have eased to a normal Dream pattern. generic cialis I also recommend light exercise, maybe just a walk to start and as you feel more confident start running or something a bit more focused on aerobic fitness.

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